7 lies our parents told me about guys and relationships

You know how our parents in feed us these concepts about guys, sex, relationships, dating, etc.... as if whatever applied in their time still applies now? Even in their time, I think it applied only in their country or the region, and they never stopped to think how we're growing up in a diverse world that the old rules don't apply anymore.

Here are the top 8:

1. الشب بحب البنت الثقيله

seriously? inno being a Jordanian and being an Arab is by itself rigid, let alone being uneasy, which ends up me being a pain in the @$$. There's no guy willing to tolerate that given the vast amount of girls out there willing to be with him.

     2. Don't tell a guy that you like him, he'll lose interest
Emmm, no

     3. If a guy can get a girl to bed, he's not serious, he'll dump her and move on to the next girl
ahhhh that's why these guys are proposing to their girlfriends....... to show them that they're not serious.
Parents, different cultures view these issues differently

      4. All guys are after 1 thing
Tab o ni7na il banat aish? beings without needs?
Fine, let's stay home and wait for mr. Right to knock on the door

     5.  High school / university relationships don't last
Yeah coz relationships that start after that do?

     6. A guy who deserves you is a guy who would want to marry you.
Eventually yes, but how will he know that he wants to marry me if doesn't get to know me for a while?

    لازم الشب هو اللي يلحق وراكي .7     

 !Good luck with that   

The horrible truth is, yesterday's rules do not apply in today's world. If you find a guy that you like, you have to hold on to him with all your powers because nothing makes sense. There are no guarantees, no must dos and don'ts. Relationships are hard and sometimes unfair. We're all different with different ways of thinking and behavior. What we do today might not be what we will do tomorrow.

Just be yourself and let it be.

Relapse

The heart does not learn. I thought that getting over someone gets easier with experience. It doesn't. There's no learning curve when it comes to the matter of the heart. I have realized that there's no correlation between how much your heart ached before and the intensity of a new heartache.

Like in anything else, I want to believe that experience plays a role in handling a relapse, it doesn't. As if the heart rejuvenates and wipes away all memories related. Therefore, relapse is easy. The heart detects that the feelings have been experienced before, however offers no defensive method.

Oh, The Places You'll Go!

Life takes you into so my places both, physically and mentally and you realize that some places are completely new and others, though you promised to abandon, are the exactly the same.

To recap my life since I last wrote, I've gone back to the US for my amazing 2nd year of MBA where I achieved a lot on so many aspects, graduated, and have made my way to find a job in Dubai with a well known company world-wide.

So much on my mind to share, about moving 'back' to Dubai, the change, hitting 30, the travels, the different types of people I met, however, one thing remains the same; me, with all my weaknesses and believes.

I became one of those people

Hmmmm, what to write about? It feels difficult to write again after disconnecting from the blogging world for a while.


To start on a funny note, this is one of my favorite Abu Mahjoob videos that relates to the post :

Well, I'm done with my first year MBA in the US and now I'm back for the summer to Amman.


You know those people who go to the States and come back nasyeen il 3arabi o mish tay2een il balad? ok that's not me!




But to tell you the truth, when you leave Amman and comes back after a year, a lot of little and big things disturb you.


#1 Impatient People


Hada il no3 bitshufo kul ma7al, masalan in the car. When the traffic light turns green shukran lalli warak coz without his beeping horn you are uncapable of knowing that the light is green.


It reminds me of the talk show where the contestants have to press the button super fast to be able to answer. Ya3ni the process of stepping on the gas pedal the instant the light turns green takes 2 seconds ya jama3a, istannuni 2 seconds. La2! lazem adrob bil mandal o a3raf 2 seconds prior to the change in light that it will turn green. Keef ma a3raf? mish i go through this traffic on daily basis? I have plenty of time to calculate it 3ashan il DABBEH illi warak ma yistanna 2 seconds for me to move.


This traffic light issue is a cliche, very known o khalas Lara talk about something we don't know about.


Ok! Impatient people standing in lines at the supermarkets/ restaurants:


"all animals are equal but some animals are more equal then others!" (Animal Farm, George Orwell). haik bil zabt ba7iss when I stand in line.


I reach the cashier to pay, but there's a guy behind me who doesn't want to wait coz he has only 1 item. Tab ana wa2fe! Or better yet, I pay and the cashier hands me back change, I need to put it back to my wallet, close it, put it back to my purse and take the bag. The second I'm handed the change back, the person behind me takes over, tab wait a minute!




At fastfood spots, if you dare to THINK what you want to eat, the person behind you has the right to order because he already made up his mind. Really? min kul 3a2lak?


At the elevator is the most dramatic one, people don't have the logic of waiting for the people inside the elevator to leave before boarding. They think they gain points if they get inside the elevator first. Akhkhkh


#2 Ogling People


I don't understand why people ogle. This is not restricted to people in the street who, 7aram, never saw a girl in their lives (jad, their moms and sisters are not girls, they are creatures bas not girls, these oglers will swear by this), it's everywhere, bil mall, bil cafes, bil clubs, anywhere you go. I forgot how much people tend to look and stare here.


The best kinds are those that ogle you while walking, fa their necks twist 180 degrees to make sure nothing happens that they don't witness.


I'm suffering from this from males and females, males undress you with their eyes and females give you the 'death look' :s


#3 Our reaction to street flirting معاكسات


I will not elaborate on the disgust I feel when I walk down ANY street in Amman and hear a random comment from males, I'm just shocked how we're raised up dressing decently and accepting crap from guys in the streets. It's humiliating ya jama3a, we're so numb that we don't feel it anymore. We just ignore o ya raito nafe3. Guys say really bad phrases out loud thinking they're the best gift from God to women.


Law il shurta mumkin ti3mal ishi kan shakeithom bas حاميها حراميها


This culture is humiliating women b kteer ashya2, but not to be able to walk in your own country and feel comfrotable 3aib jad ma biseer. متى سنرتقي؟


#4 Lack of a system


Any kind of transaction that you encounter lacks a system. This includes everything around you, from inquiring about something over the phone, to finding your lost item at the pool, to attending a wedding ceremony. Please ma twaj3uli albi.


I really don't want to be one of those people who doesn't like anything in Jordan. I do, ana bint il balad bas bardo.


I know someone out there will comment: مش عاجبك اترك البلد
and I'll say I am, by the end of summer, but my loved ones are here ..........

summer vaca

There's no worse feeling than realizing that you don't belong to any country......

Say "you're welcome"

Why is it that Americans don't say "you're welcome"?


me: thanks
Them: ah-huh




me: thank you
Them: yep!


:s

Share yourself

I've discovered a weird phenomenon in humans; they don't share themselves with other people. Why? Why are people so afraid of sharing themselves? 


I have a classmate who doesn't say 'thank you', ever, who doesn't make anyone feel appreciated and who doesn't give hugs. What's so bad about putting yourself out there and giving a feeling of equity with others? I see it as partly being selfish. It is also like being stingy. These people don't give away compliments or good vibes, they're storing it for their wedding day or something :s


ma asga3hom

Syracuse. Chapter 1

I've been meaning to write since I arrived here to Syracuse. It's been 3 whole months that I've left Jordan and I've had no time to sit and write! I decided that I'll have multiple short posts to make it easier to blog and read and to also make it more interesting (I hope)


Being in the states is a whole different life, I don't know how I feel about it yet but it changes day by day.


I'll only give 2 short stories about how different.......

#1 In economics class we were discussing GDP and how it is not a real reflection of the nations money flow because some businesses are not taxed and accounted for such as drug dealing and prostitution!


#2 while reading a marketing article there was a statement that said: 

Viviana Zelizer, a sociologist at Princeton University, noted that a similar phenomenon even affects how prostitutes think about their income. She cited a study of the Oslo prostitution market, which showed that prostitutes tend to spend money acquired through welfare checks and health benefits on essentials such as rent and bills and are far more likely to spend their income acquired from selling sex on drugs and alcohol, even if it means they have no money left over to pay for essentials.

(Vedantam,Mental Accounting,2007) 

I have to cite it coz here it's a big deal not to cite, probably worse than killing!


Law b 3amman I'd hear someone in class say : wal 3yathu billah! :)

Coming soon........

I'll be back soon with my new posts as I am leaving the country and will be living in the US & A for 2 years :)

ترقبوا عودة لارا

   

Crap

I don't get guys! I don't know if I want to understand them. Could it be that some people's destiny is to stay single?

During a conversation with a friend who lives in Lebanon

Me: " :S come on, do you honestly say that to your lebanese girl friends and they laugh?"
Him: " yes :) it only leads to coffee"
Me: thinking ' what the heck! are you telling me a sexual joke that I as a girl should laugh about?'
Me: "not funny"

Honestly, do guys think of me as their male buddy who joke around with? Some of my friends think I'm conservative, I tend to disagree since they're mixing up conservative with 'of dignity'.

At the office

Shady: "uff, Juliana, shiklek qawi il yome lazem dayman tilbisi haik"
Me thinking 'what the heck? (lazem dayman what the heck :) ) is he being turned on by her looks AND saying it out loud AND telling her to always please his fantasies? emmm sorry bas this goes under sexual harrassment in my dictionary'

The fact that a guy smiles and says "go on" when a girl tells him about a lesbian couple is beyond me.


Sentences that bug me and I find insulting and offending as a female:

"3indek sa7bat? tab 3arfeena"
to me it's sounds like: "you have friends bni2dar nitsarsar 3alaihom? 3arfeen, coz you girls are stupid enough to do that and please us"

"my friend's going out with this girl and he's hoping to hit 2nd base"
to me it sound like "i'm telling you what we really think of you, sex toys and you should be happy".

Conversation
XY "Shagfe hay lazem azabbet-ha"
ME: "she's an idiot you won't know how to have a decent conversation"
XY: "mish muhim"
to me it sounds like " i don't care if she's an idiot, or even bittaftef o hiyyeh bti7ki, she looks hot and I want to show off, and if I can get her into bed mish ghalat".

A married couple watching TV with friends
Husband: "ittalla3 3alaiha, saroukh, ya 3ammi niyyalo"
Wife: "heheheheh"
Me thinking 'what the heck?! what are you laughing about? kharjek, ma inti 3aha zayyo!'

Yes, i know guys fool around, o better infront of the wife than behind her back, bas yamm! sar funny il mawdoo3?

"Za3lane minni, I'll buy her a gift and she'll be fine"
to me it sounds like : " i'll buy her OFF with a gift coz girls are stupid and like guys who buys them stuff. That will make me look considerate while I don't really remember why we fought....... and I don't care".
  
What bugs me is not the fact that guys say these things, it's that girls just laugh along. Tab su2al, aren't you offended by the opennessand the implications? To me it's demeaning and insulting to all women when a guy talks about other girls in a materialistic way and expects me to laugh or agree. ma buzbot ma3i

I know boys will be boys but they don't need to share these thoughts with me, really. It's not macho it's demeaning.
And girls, stop being stupid and stand up for your dignity.

I think girls are putting themselves down by accepting this kind of talk from guys. They are afraid to disagree with guys so that guys don't perceive them as boring or closed minded or conservative or fun. This is apparent all over the world by the way, it is not an Arabic thing. Girls are always afraid to say no.
Taking the music videos for example, male directors materialize girls to fit their fantasies. Girls don't really want to be dancing around a hip hop singer fighting over his dollars, or sing while rolling over on a bed, or dress like a hooker but they know that this is what turns guys on and this is what sells, so they do it.

So girls, are we tools for drooling or human beings?

The below pictures are not funny, they're demeaning