Coming soon........

I'll be back soon with my new posts as I am leaving the country and will be living in the US & A for 2 years :)

ترقبوا عودة لارا

   

Crap

I don't get guys! I don't know if I want to understand them. Could it be that some people's destiny is to stay single?

During a conversation with a friend who lives in Lebanon

Me: " :S come on, do you honestly say that to your lebanese girl friends and they laugh?"
Him: " yes :) it only leads to coffee"
Me: thinking ' what the heck! are you telling me a sexual joke that I as a girl should laugh about?'
Me: "not funny"

Honestly, do guys think of me as their male buddy who joke around with? Some of my friends think I'm conservative, I tend to disagree since they're mixing up conservative with 'of dignity'.

At the office

Shady: "uff, Juliana, shiklek qawi il yome lazem dayman tilbisi haik"
Me thinking 'what the heck? (lazem dayman what the heck :) ) is he being turned on by her looks AND saying it out loud AND telling her to always please his fantasies? emmm sorry bas this goes under sexual harrassment in my dictionary'

The fact that a guy smiles and says "go on" when a girl tells him about a lesbian couple is beyond me.


Sentences that bug me and I find insulting and offending as a female:

"3indek sa7bat? tab 3arfeena"
to me it's sounds like: "you have friends bni2dar nitsarsar 3alaihom? 3arfeen, coz you girls are stupid enough to do that and please us"

"my friend's going out with this girl and he's hoping to hit 2nd base"
to me it sound like "i'm telling you what we really think of you, sex toys and you should be happy".

Conversation
XY "Shagfe hay lazem azabbet-ha"
ME: "she's an idiot you won't know how to have a decent conversation"
XY: "mish muhim"
to me it sounds like " i don't care if she's an idiot, or even bittaftef o hiyyeh bti7ki, she looks hot and I want to show off, and if I can get her into bed mish ghalat".

A married couple watching TV with friends
Husband: "ittalla3 3alaiha, saroukh, ya 3ammi niyyalo"
Wife: "heheheheh"
Me thinking 'what the heck?! what are you laughing about? kharjek, ma inti 3aha zayyo!'

Yes, i know guys fool around, o better infront of the wife than behind her back, bas yamm! sar funny il mawdoo3?

"Za3lane minni, I'll buy her a gift and she'll be fine"
to me it sounds like : " i'll buy her OFF with a gift coz girls are stupid and like guys who buys them stuff. That will make me look considerate while I don't really remember why we fought....... and I don't care".
  
What bugs me is not the fact that guys say these things, it's that girls just laugh along. Tab su2al, aren't you offended by the opennessand the implications? To me it's demeaning and insulting to all women when a guy talks about other girls in a materialistic way and expects me to laugh or agree. ma buzbot ma3i

I know boys will be boys but they don't need to share these thoughts with me, really. It's not macho it's demeaning.
And girls, stop being stupid and stand up for your dignity.

I think girls are putting themselves down by accepting this kind of talk from guys. They are afraid to disagree with guys so that guys don't perceive them as boring or closed minded or conservative or fun. This is apparent all over the world by the way, it is not an Arabic thing. Girls are always afraid to say no.
Taking the music videos for example, male directors materialize girls to fit their fantasies. Girls don't really want to be dancing around a hip hop singer fighting over his dollars, or sing while rolling over on a bed, or dress like a hooker but they know that this is what turns guys on and this is what sells, so they do it.

So girls, are we tools for drooling or human beings?

The below pictures are not funny, they're demeaning

Things I learnt in 2010

• That people on facebook have so much free time beyond comprehention.
• If you feel someone is lying, he/she probably is. If you suspect that 2 people are going out together, they probably are. Follow your instincts
• There’s a time for everything 

• Guys are basic creatures; they have no eye for fashion, and would drool over any girl in tight pants. They will be attracted like magnet to any girl who dresses in a way that ‘articulates’ her body.

The high heels trick works every time and always gets a “hey! Have you lost weight? You look good”.
Guys don’t care about brains, they’re lying if they say they do, the thing that gets their emotions going is looks, sorry girls, but it’s looks and it's the deal breaker.

• I’ve learnt that you might spend your life thinking you’re over something….. until another identical incident breaks you down again. You have been over the memory but not the incident. 
• You don’t know your friends as much as you think you do
• You might not like your friend’s significant other, friends might not like your significant other. And there’s nothing you can do about it.
• That traveling is food for the soul.
• Respect your time after working hours. Life is too short to be spent in the office. They could let lay you off any day.
• Exercise is like a drug and it’s a really good one :)

في ألمانيا train بال

 قاعده بال ترين بعد ما امي خلتنا نغير محلنا زي ألف مرة عشان هون ما بنشوف اشي وهون في صوت المحرك و هون قراب عالحمام فأخيرا قعدنا ورا بعض ومش قبال بعض على طاولة .المهم ، قاعده أنا وقبالي كابل شكلهم أكبر من مراهقين بشوي ، يمكن24 ، 22



قاعدين على كرسيين جنب بعض وممددين اجريهم على الكراسي اللي قبالهم ، بالزبط زي المحل اللي امي كان بـدها نقعد فيه.


الشاب كتكوت وطويل ، يعني الماني شو بدو يكون! وهي مش كتير حلوه ، كان بقدر يلاقي أحسن! هيك نحنا العرب بنحكم عالناس بالمظاهر وزي كإنه بنستخسر بالشباب البنات اللي مش كتير حلوين كإنه الجمال كل اشي.


قاعد هو جنب الشباك وهي الكرسي اللي جنبه. هو ماسك مجله بيقرأ مقالة – عن الهندسه المعماريه شكله- وهي ماسكه ناشونال جيوغرافيك . إه! بيعملوها بالالماني


ابصر ايمتى يعملوها بالعربي ؟ بس يصير الشعب العربي يعرف عن ناشونال جيوغرافيك ولا بس يصيرو يقرأوا؟


كتير اطلعت عليهم وعادي مش فارقة معهم ، لو بعمان كان زمان جحرتني وهو كان زمان لاحظني !بس كمان ليش يفرق معهم ؟ مش عاملين اشي غلط .قاعدين كل واحد بيقرا بمجلته يعني الطريق طويلة يستفيدوا شوي بدل ما ياكلوا أو ينزلو دحيه مثلا؟
 
حط ايدو على كتفها، مسكت ايدو ، ابصر شو نوع الكريم اللي بتحطه! ولا يمكن مابيهمها إذا حس انه مش كتير جلدها ناعم ، العلاقة أكبر من ريحة كريم أو نعومة بشرة .


أنا قاعده وحاطة ال اي بود ولابسه تنورة وتحتها تايت موضه مش كتير بيقدروها بعمان . ولساتني عم بتطلع . امي من قدام لصاحبتها "شوفي الناس هون ولا هاممهم “ ضحكت .


.....


يعني معقول أنا عم بلعب سودوكو و هدول قاعدين بعيشوا حياتهم بدون تعقيدات؟ طب عادي ايش المشكلة ؟ المشكلة انه قعده جنب بعض و إيد عالكتف بغ ديل عنا . ماعم بحكي عن المجتمع والحفرتل وعادي كت ومش كت ، عم بحكي انه هذا الشعور ال كوزي مع صاحب ماعشته كل اللي عشته قصص ودراما وبنقدر نكون مع بعض ولا ما بنقدر ، ناخد بريك وبعد البريك وقبل البريك وهدايا ومسجات وال اكس . ولساتني بتطلع …..


بتطلع على الخزق اللي عاملته بحاجبها، يعني بحب الخزوق بس مش عارفه ازا ممكن اعمل على حواجبي. شعرها بني ولابسه كندرة حفرتليه بيضة بس تقاطيع وجها ناعمه .


شعره حلو زي ما دايما بنتخيل الألمان ,طويل ومرتب ، حتى حواجبه حلوين! ايديه كمان حلوين. كيف دايما الالمان مرتبين . لابس جاكيت كحلي أوه بنطلون جينز.


ابصر إذا لسة بدرسوا ولا بيشتغلوا.


ابصر كيف التقوا؟ ابصر إذا اهلها شافوها بتقعد غير ؟ ولا الموضوع مش هيك؟


يبصر إذا أهلها بيحبوه !


اظن لازم يضربني قد مااطلعت !


........


ضحكوا على اشي بدون مايطلعوا على بعض .مع الوقت اظن بصيروا يفهموا على بعض .


زهقت ، ضبت المجلة ونامت على حضنه. لازم أكون متجوزه عشان اقدر اعمل هيك بـعمان قدام الناس والا بكون قليلة أدب وأهلي ماعرفوا يربوني !


طب إذا أنا اللي بسافر وبروح وباجي بتطلع كيف الناس التانية؟ اظن اني معذورة عشاني عربية!


عشان عندي قيم وعشاني اخترعت الصفر. عشاني بحب الفلكلور والمناقيش وصلة الرحم والكرم والشهامة ويوم الجمعة. عشاني عربية بطبعي محافظة وبصون العادات والتقاليد .بحب اللباس المحتشم والمنسف!عشان العرب هم اللي فتحوا الأندلس وبنوا الأهرامات وألفوا موسيقى أم كلثوم وفيروز اللي جاي من باريس الشرق.


عشاني عربية مش مقبول اني أعيش لحالي مش بس أعيش مع صاحبي! مش مقبول انه حتى إذا عشت مع زوجي أقرر أطلقه. عشاني عربية ماكله هوا لما بدي آخذ فيزا على أي بلد وبتشنطت عشان آخذ شينغن . قال لازم دعوة ، بيخافوا آجي على البلد وأنا بسن 27 ومش متجوزة وأصفي قاعدة وبـدور على شغل ومش قابلة أرجع. بيخافوا انه يمكن أكون عالة على المجتمع وأعمل مشاكل لأني طبعا عربية . عربية ومن الأردن وطالبة شينغن تبدأ من 9/11 . يعني معقولة أنا التانيه مالقيت تاريخ غير 9/11 ؟! بيخافوا التم على اكمن عربي هناك واصير من الجالية العربية اللي مش عارفين كيف يخلصوا منها. أو بيخافوا مثلا اضايق الناس وأسبب ازعاجات….. 


بصراحة معهم حق! هيني هلكت اللي قبالي وأنا ببحلق فيهم وبتسائل عن أحوالهم وأفكارهم وأهلهم ومن وين جاكيتاتهم. معهم حق!


بس برضو لازم يعذروني، أنا عربية

P.S. A few days ago National Geographic Magazine is launched in Arabic :)

Zay Share3 il Wakalat

I was vacationing in Paris last month (oo la la ar7am 7ali) when I realized that the Champs Elysees is so overrated. In fact it’s not too different than Wakalat Street in Sweifiye!
 Let’s see:

 Both have cafes next to the main road


 Both have cafes offering Argeeleh!! Yes shocking I know :S


 Both are full of Gulfies


 Both have Etam and Benetton stores


 Both have people doing nothing just staring at pedestrians for a long time

 During world cup, you find Arabs in their cars, carrying flags, honking and shouting for no reason

 Both streets are dirty, 7atta Walakat street has more garbage bins

Care to share more, anyone?

However, I must say Paris is the city of lights and magical in a way but also outside paris is very nice and worth the visit.

Pink Fig episode

Ring Ring.....


Pink Fig: "Blue Fig hello"

Me: "Hi, can I reserve a table for 5 for Tuesday?

Pink Fig: "hmmmm for Tuesday......... tab shu ra2yek ti7ki bukra 3ashan ti7jizi la Tuesday? "

Me thinking ' shu ra2yak la2?'
Me: "ehhh laish?"

Pink Fig: "ni7na bni7jiz la yomain 3ashan 3inna war2a bas la yomain fa haik lazem a3mil war2et Tuesday"
Me: "hehe tayyeb I'll call tomorrow"

Pink Fig: "willa a2ollek yalla a3teeni ismek"   :)

Restaurant mistake # 1 : never inform customers more than they should know

Over dinner with a colleague.....

" I go back home to the west bank every weekend, and last weekend when I was crossing the borders there was a young Israeli lady, maybe 17 or 18 years old, who checks and stamps the passport stopped me and said:

'I notice you tghaveling (traveling) all the time, you tghavel a lot'  so I said:

 ' yes I tghavel all the time while you just stay here stamping passports!'.

Of course she didn't like what I said, and decided to make me stay an extra hour sitting there doing nothing before stamping my passport............ I didn't care I knew she was reacting to what I said. I felt good that I could at least speak my mind. She wanted to delay 1 hour of my day? I don't care, my whole life was delayed because of them.........."

Ironic Jazz

I never expected to see Rasha in concert again and not to see you ever again............... 

You know you're a LOST fan when.....

1. You, as an Arab, start confusing Iraqis for Iranians and Pakistanis

2. You stop waxing. Kate looks fine, she’s been on the island for months

3. You never take the plane from Sydney to Los Angeles

4. You call fog ‘black smoke’

5. You refuse to skip episodes even if someone gives the full details of the episode

6. You start wondering about your parallel life

7. You start running away at bbqs once the fire catches on

8. You start calling people you don’t like “The Others”


9. You sound stupid if you try to explain Lost to non fans

10. The idea of taking a vacation to an island is not very appealing

11. Whenever you see a stop-watch or a digital counter you start yelling “What’s the code? What’s the code? ”

12. You gather a group of friends and send your CVs to jobs@dharma.com

13. You automatically classify Lost fans as smart people

14. Hammoudeh DVD mish mla77e2 3alaik, you’re there every Wednesday afternoon demanding the latest episode

15. During thunder storms you check date and time after each lightening flash

16. Whenever you go on holiday you check expedia for submarine return tickets just in case.

I’ve never mentioned this before but I LOVE LOST. Thanks to my friend Rami who helped me with the funnier part of the list :)

Please add yours

I can't wait for tonight's season finale :) I'm going to have a void in my life when it is finished :(

I hope we'll win the Emmys

nO Beach

Jordan: please when you want to say that something is nice don't exaggerate. don't make it sound like heaven on earth. Coz it's not.


My friends and I went last week to O Beach after hearing so much about how cool it is.
When we were on our way there olna hada howweh! We're gonna see God's gift to Jordan :)


We went to the place expecting something special where in fact it was small, with 1 VIP pool (that doesn't really fit all those VIPs) and 2 smaller standard pools that we cannot, and I repeat, cannot sit on its sides.


Now this would be understandable if the pool was deep and made for swimming, thus sitting on the edges is inconvenient. But no, the pools are not deep enough, not encouraging for swimming and not plenty enough.


The cabanas (oddly are not near the beach) are way too small with no pools! When we asked, they said that cabana members have access to all pools!! ok! Whatever!


Tayyeb it was time now to go to the beach, put some mud and float in the amazing dead sea water. "ehhh srry mafi beach"


"Excuse me!?"
This place has NO BEACH! yes it's still not open! Tab why would i go to a pool at the Dead
Sea?? We have plenty of pools in Amman.
"Tab 3afwan fee Dead Sea pool iza bit7ibbu" ! Basically a pool with dead sea water


"Emm la2 ma3lish we'd rather have the real thing"


This place has no theme, no apparent style, no good music. But I know why people love it. It's a great place to show off, you don't need to swim you just lay there and look good. This is what ahel 3amman love, yu23odu o yitfarraju.


But to be fair, the service was very good and customer care was as well. They returned our money and we spent the day at a hotel where we had loads of fun.


And being in the marketing field I must admit that their marketing campaign was great.


nO Beach....... Totally OH!rdinary