Wednesday, January 26, 2011


I don't get guys! I don't know if I want to understand them. Could it be that some people's destiny is to stay single?

During a conversation with a friend who lives in Lebanon

Me: " :S come on, do you honestly say that to your lebanese girl friends and they laugh?"
Him: " yes :) it only leads to coffee"
Me: thinking ' what the heck! are you telling me a sexual joke that I as a girl should laugh about?'
Me: "not funny"

Honestly, do guys think of me as their male buddy who joke around with? Some of my friends think I'm conservative, I tend to disagree since they're mixing up conservative with 'of dignity'.

At the office

Shady: "uff, Juliana, shiklek qawi il yome lazem dayman tilbisi haik"
Me thinking 'what the heck? (lazem dayman what the heck :) ) is he being turned on by her looks AND saying it out loud AND telling her to always please his fantasies? emmm sorry bas this goes under sexual harrassment in my dictionary'

The fact that a guy smiles and says "go on" when a girl tells him about a lesbian couple is beyond me.

Sentences that bug me and I find insulting and offending as a female:

"3indek sa7bat? tab 3arfeena"
to me it's sounds like: "you have friends bni2dar nitsarsar 3alaihom? 3arfeen, coz you girls are stupid enough to do that and please us"

"my friend's going out with this girl and he's hoping to hit 2nd base"
to me it sound like "i'm telling you what we really think of you, sex toys and you should be happy".

XY "Shagfe hay lazem azabbet-ha"
ME: "she's an idiot you won't know how to have a decent conversation"
XY: "mish muhim"
to me it sounds like " i don't care if she's an idiot, or even bittaftef o hiyyeh bti7ki, she looks hot and I want to show off, and if I can get her into bed mish ghalat".

A married couple watching TV with friends
Husband: "ittalla3 3alaiha, saroukh, ya 3ammi niyyalo"
Wife: "heheheheh"
Me thinking 'what the heck?! what are you laughing about? kharjek, ma inti 3aha zayyo!'

Yes, i know guys fool around, o better infront of the wife than behind her back, bas yamm! sar funny il mawdoo3?

"Za3lane minni, I'll buy her a gift and she'll be fine"
to me it sounds like : " i'll buy her OFF with a gift coz girls are stupid and like guys who buys them stuff. That will make me look considerate while I don't really remember why we fought....... and I don't care".
What bugs me is not the fact that guys say these things, it's that girls just laugh along. Tab su2al, aren't you offended by the opennessand the implications? To me it's demeaning and insulting to all women when a guy talks about other girls in a materialistic way and expects me to laugh or agree. ma buzbot ma3i

I know boys will be boys but they don't need to share these thoughts with me, really. It's not macho it's demeaning.
And girls, stop being stupid and stand up for your dignity.

I think girls are putting themselves down by accepting this kind of talk from guys. They are afraid to disagree with guys so that guys don't perceive them as boring or closed minded or conservative or fun. This is apparent all over the world by the way, it is not an Arabic thing. Girls are always afraid to say no.
Taking the music videos for example, male directors materialize girls to fit their fantasies. Girls don't really want to be dancing around a hip hop singer fighting over his dollars, or sing while rolling over on a bed, or dress like a hooker but they know that this is what turns guys on and this is what sells, so they do it.

So girls, are we tools for drooling or human beings?

The below pictures are not funny, they're demeaning


Haitham هيثم Al-Sheeshany الشيشاني said...

I`m not sure if this will help, but u r correct! I mean as a guy I notice these things about "us" and sadly they r considered not just ok, but cool <== or whatever the faya3a word that is around today :(

*guilty as charged

M.Ispeer said...

I don't know, i disagree with you, i believe that if a girl accepts being friends with guys, and she has no problem hanging out with them, she must be open to hear what guys say, i mean i know it is not pretty, but all guys are the same, and those lines and catch phrases are just.. you know words in the air, that doesn't mean that we only think of girls as objects, but you know we were programmed to behave this way.

I mean how can you be a guy's best friend yet cannot endure to lsn to his story of how he landed some hot girl, or not even that, how he is in love with some girl and eventually got a kiss...

And to be honest, allot of girls out there are stupid, if she allows a man to manipulate her in a certain way and she goes for it, i mean that girl had it coming, i know you would never be on the receiving end of any scam pulled on because you are different, so are lots of girls, a guy will not even try to pull that on you coz you have your shields up.

But dude the other stuff are just words, they are not harmful, its just a slang, and its just about hearing what your friends might say, you don't always like it, but that's ok...and I am telling you a dirty joke next time I see u heheheh…no I wont…I know u will kill me.

Lara said...

Haitham Thanks !
zaman 3annak :) I WILL kill u :) i'll let Sawsan tell it to me :p

Anonymous said...

The concept you talk about of preserving dignity is correct. It only shows that you are a human; Yes other thinking, unlike our friend suggests that all boys think like this, is a thinking of someone degraded to animal levels, whether he accept it or not.
True feelings lead to respect, there is no respect in treating girls like that, so you are 100% correct
However, You can't have the Best of the Two Worlds! want to be with people who are considered as cool and expect them to be rational, it is just too hard and you have to take a side, this will ease matters for you, I think ;)

Lara said...

Thanks anonymous for ur comment :)

Led Zeppelin said...

Real Ladies and Gentlemen are extinct, it is a 2 way loss.

I'm gonna mirror your rant here and say Yes men are degrading and objectifying women,but women are also being..more and more non-lady like.
It is those who don not stand up like you do,and willingly allow to be objectified and even interact on that level with the guys,so she would look "cool",and she would use the term "abul shabab itla3 min rasi" not in a cute lady like way..but in a serious way..a turn off.
She would pull out the cigarette and smoke it staring down at me,remember uniz in late 90s ou early 2000s,girls would smoke in restrooms and never in public?
is it seeking equality? enforcing self image as being a capable woman the community? Or is it a woman growing a mustache and losing her femininity! cause that's how I see it.
smoking and guys slang here are just mere examples.

and yes I admit of being on the objectifying side of men,also that most women in my life are of those who I am criticizing here...who knows maybe cause of this I might really end up spending my life with a woman 10 years my senior! the rare true ladies I'v been seeing around.

Reem said...

i love every single thought you expressed.. couldn't agree more!