Sunday, November 01, 2009

One Life Stand!

This post is dedicated to my friend T :)

Meeting up with friends last week, having hot chocolate, complaining about the weather...... (ok only I was complaining about the weather since I hate winter and wish it would be summer everyday of the year), we were talking about thee most talked about topic in Amman between youth ages 22-42 : Hooking up / Marriage/ Finding The One.

Tab3an as usual everyone pretends inno mabsoot haik o 3adi I'm not looking for anyone at the moment, I need to enjoy life, fa we were exchanging stories of people who got to know each other over a period of 2 or 3 months and then got married (traditional marriage).

Fareeda said her famous sentence :"i don't understand why are people in such a hurry to get married?"

T then moved on to the idea of a 1 night stand and how the west thinks of this and that.

All that came to my mind, ironically, was that there's no difference between an Arab girl who knows a guy for 2 months and then marries him, giving her body and soul to him and a western girl who gets to know a guy for the same period and then giving herself to him, being a 1 night stand, then breaking up and finding another.

Aren't these 2 girls from across the world the same? Isn't marrying someone within 2 months of knowing him a kind of prostitution? What's the difference, really? It is as T called it "One life stand".

A man or a woman cannot surely know during only 2 months that this person is THE ONE thus what attracts them to each other is sex. Purely sex.

After sometime the naive western woman moves on, leaves him for a reason or another, finds another man who offers her a subconcious one night stand approach, while the Arab women accepts the one life stand, stays for a reason or another,swallows her pride and moves on to being a mother.

A mother who in return marries her daughters traditionally. After an Arab girl has her ethics and honour which are saved until marriage, until the one life stand.


Anonymous said...

You said "western girl who gets to know a guy for the same period" (2 months) "and then giving herself to him, being a 1 night stand, then breaking up and finding another."

Correction, one night stands are a hit and run approach that doesn't need 2 months of knowing the guy, you meet someone in the club or the pub...etc. and both take off to find a room in the same day, hence the phrase "one night".

Lara said...

well, anonymous, to me it's the same thing :)

T!! said...

Anonymous: Things are not taken by word, the idea is so similar. You give yourself for a one night, to one you only have known for hours & here in honored Arabia you know someone for 2 months to give him yourself for years and years of slavery!!!

Lara, you are great, I hope all women transform into something similar to YOU :)

Anonymous said...

Lara, anonymous is correct. However, I totally agree with you on what Arabs call traditional marriage, for me it is BS, nothing more and nothing less!!!

Keep on the good work in blogging babe, but please try to go into other subjects than this one, this subject is all what Arabs think about and are all afraid to do!!!

Don Alfredo :)

Lara said...

Don Alfredo keefak? :) good you keep in touch through blogging. take care

Led Zeppelin said...

la2 mish 7aya haik..madas broke off my vicious scheme "that exists solely in my mind!" of all ppl..I guess she knows that I have a soft spot for her..oh well at least it brought activity to this place,guess I'm not that vicious after all...

back to your post...I think your mind and T's are twisted!
1)Marriage,traditional or as a result of a long term relationship usually comes after Engagement which mostly lasts about a year..this is the mainstream, yes fee within 2 months but I never seen any up close, specially in the hard times we live in now those who are about to marry can hardly afford the expenses so they need time..
Mind you within this year or so,she might not really know the person..and find that the person totally changed after marriage,at the same time,for the 2 months couple..she might get to know em and get to really like him,even love him within a week! shallow? No,these things happen..we are human beings of emotions and feelings above all habits and there is no right or wrong about it

2)why do you prejudge that the man who married her traditionally and was given her "body and soul" is a mean predator, who got her "enslaved"..why not think that this man actually admires and understands what she's giving him,and sees that as something to the fact that most of these traditional marriage seekers already adopt the concept of being a family man,and having a lovable they kick in with care and passion giving it to that wife...look at our ancestors and grandparents,traditional marriage prevailed yet most that they had was love and passion since day one,it is not pure sexual drive..we're humans not animals..

Finally, there is no The hollywood there is but not in real life, in life you have attraction points,assets and circumstance to name some, you combine a bunch of these factors together and you get interest or emotion..that is why you might get to like someone stranded with you on an elevator,or in plane wreck off an island like Lost,or with someone who works with you..all of them are bwijhek and get to trigger these factors!
but women grow up watching too much disney princess themed films,and too many romantic fictional movies as they grow older..and these get their minds twisted..

this is too long of a msg,I'm never gonna get any work done here.

Lara said...

Led Zepplin
You have a point, maybe my mind IS twisted:) T can speak for himself.

Well thank you for your ideas, this is an endless controversial issue. I understand your point of view.

But just to answer something you said, I look at our ancestors and all I find is committment and ta3weed, no passion, no nothing, fa it's not a pretty picture to me :S

Aladdin is my favorite :)

Led Zeppelin said...


from viewing both of my grandparents,all I see is passion and love all the way..their entire lives, but yeah there is no general rule...

Aladdin? you think that's any better? think again..
Aladdin the street rat is declared dead to Jasmine, she goes to her bed weeping "tears of pity" ..and the next day prince Ali comes over,all he needs to do is to take her for a ride on the magic carpet "which in real life would be a classic gullwing benz",and she's head over heels for him,she even sings along with him that creepy song that turns my stomach...
She's a gold digger,rich wanna be richer! did she even ask How he go it? Did he earn it? it didn't matter now did it..

ana mish 7afez il film, and I'm not much of an Aladdin fan myself..cough..

Reem said...

Lara! Long time so see!
Well, i have to disagree with you and agree with Led Zeppelin...
I think its all case to case basis,, you can't really generalize any rule about traditional marriages, or these 2-3 months preceeding marriage or even the long term love stories, ic an give you real life examples about each one of them, both successful and miserable for each one.. But i can gice you opne example, i knew sari for far less than on month when i knew he is the one and that i want to spend my life with him..
And a correction about a traditional marriage, it no loner means that the mum will choose the bride for her son without him seeing her and the bride having the chance toknow him, its only a way of getting to know each other, and they will have all the time on the world to decide if they want to move on or not.. only that they will meet for the first time in her house rather than work or any other place..